My grandfather died in his sleep the night after I took the lava boat ride. It was surreal to feel the deep primal connection in my core with the shocking reality that someone who helped make me who I am is now gone. Forever. So within 48 hours of floating in a boat where fire and water united, I was on a plane in the sky watching a full moon rise over Waikiki beach on a clear evening. Eight hours after take off full of imperfect fits of airplane sleep, we began our descent into Houston, Texas. Moving in opposite directions from the earth, the sun’s rays began to rise above the dense cloud layer as the plane’s elevation decreased. A compete color spectrum emerged illuminating the perfect morning air far above the city with breathtaking beauty. The horizontal rainbow of light over Houston’s morning cloud layer rivaled any rainbow I have seen in Hawaii. And I knew that I was exactly where I needed to be.
The funeral truly was a celebration of life. I am honored to be a part of an extended family that comes together to support each other with love, laughter, and listening. We shared stories and heard the many ways that my grandfather impacted people’s lives. On one day, four people described him to me as ‘the salt of the earth.’ He enhanced life and other’s experience of it through his playful spirit, love of nature and family, and willingness to work hard to get a job done.
During the rosary, I kept remembering a few years ago sitting listening to his stories about growing up on a farm in small town Texas when he was in a one room school. At one point we realized that our hands were the same size. The squarish palms and the length of our fingers were identical. His hands were more weathered and wiser than mine, telling the story of a lifetime of hard work and willingness to lend a hand to others.
The similarities between our hands signaled the qualities we shared that inextricably bound us together. The need to eat as soon as hunger emerges – or else! Satisfaction from bringing a smile to someone’s face with a joke or story or simple smile. Love for having our hands in the dirt and watching plants grow and change. Years and years of dying Easter eggs together. A playful willingness to take on new situations. Satisfaction from a perfectly salted meal. Pleasure in cooking and creating in the kitchen with the challenge of giving anyone a recipe to recreate a dish. Delight in routine (although I don’t think I could eat oatmeal so many days in a row for so many years). Love of family.
The bond we shared is the bond you can have with a grandparent who loves you unconditionally, who offers you support and honesty when you need it. It is the bond with a grandparent who took pride in my successes and choices because he could see that he had been successful in making the world a better place through his legacy, his family. I am grateful for the role that each of my grandparents play in my life, whether living or not. And I know I will continue to carry PamPaw’s love with me forever. And if I ever need a reminder of our connection, I only need to look as far as my hands.
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